


Four Truths

by Marie_L



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Dubious Consent, Guilt, Incest, Jedi Training, Luke's Training Temple, M/M, Pre-Canon, Sex pollen via the Force, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-17 12:14:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14832071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marie_L/pseuds/Marie_L
Summary: Master Luke Skywalker taught his student Ben Solo four truths. The galaxy would have been better off if he'd lied.





	Four Truths

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Thymesis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thymesis/gifts).



 

_I. Balance in all things, mind and body_

 

The thought intruded on his meditation: They called him Master Luke now, but he never got used to it. Even at forty-three standard years and battle worn, he felt young and untested. In the old padawan system his twenty years of experience with the Force would hardly qualify him as an apprentice. Of course, that was the case when you start at five years old.

Luke's small cohort of students weren't five either, but all except Jire Neesem were quite young, ranging from Khasido Tano at ten to his nephew Ben Solo at fifteen. Jire he had found in a similar state to himself way back when he had first been trained by Obi-Wan – a brash young pilot, all angst and energy to get off his homeworld to do something with his life, and brimming with raw unfocused talent. Luke doubted the young man had studying meditation in a desert temple in mind when he fantasized about blasting into space, but as the oldest of Luke's trainees, he had risen to the task of serving as role model for the seven younger ones.

Ben was the second oldest, but the most recent addition to his tiny emerging school of new Jedi. Luke still wasn't entirely sure why Leia had changed her mind and sent Ben to be trained, after years of resisting such efforts. She felt her son needed to mature before allowing him to explore his evident great talent. But as he approached adolescence, something subtly changed in Ben. Not so much maturity – the boy still swiftly switched between petulant self-interest and intense focus on his craft-- more of a hardening. A curiosity about the darker elements of power and its uses. His mind closed off from Luke, and often Leia too. Luke intended to change that, although after two months he'd barely made a dent.

Besides Jire and Ben, they had the younger crew – Laro Chanchani, Sial Rassyne, Brawen Nila, Grekk'dakken, Khasida Tano, Viz Arpeli. Several were descendents of Force-sensitive children rescued by the legendary Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker's old apprentice. Khasida's family even took their name after her. Luke never managed to find Tano, whom he suspected was still alive somewhere. But he did find Lor San Tekka, a member of the tiny Church of the Force, and keeper of the richest repository of Jedi lore Luke seen, more than he'd managed to discover in ten years of search. He'd scoured high and low after the victory at Endor, even combing through the demented Imperial Palace to find relics of the old Jedi Temple.

Eight students and two teachers. Besides R2 and a few other servant and construction droids, that was the entirety of the new Jedi order.

On Coruscant Luke had found a fragment of an ancient Force-sensitive tree, a centerpiece of the old Temple, he was given to understand. Now it stood grafted onto a new living tree, sprouted and planted not far from the river. He thought of it as a new centerpiece for new Temple, but they weren't there yet. At present they had only a few sparse buildings on a hill at the edge of a rocky desert. The rainy side of the hill was lively, all scrub brush and meadow flowers and drought-tolerant orchards that provided the school with taro bread and fruit, and a spring-fed riparian zone that served as an oasis for local animals. And the other side side of the hill, dry desert and rocks and a few grass tufts braving the harsh ground. Life and non life; the contrast in the Force was palpable even to the younglings, as Luke intended.

He balanced cross-legged on a flat boulder overlooking the dry side, all the better to quiet and extend his mind. But as they often did, Luke's meditations were distracted by intruding thought of his nephew.

Before Ben's arrival, he hadn't seen the boy in two years, except through an occasional holo message. Contact ad been sporadic before then as well, for Luke had been highly distracted by his quest to dig up the suppressed history and philosophy of the Jedi. He and Leia had a bond forged in war and suffering, but the same could not be said for Leia's child, and indeed her new life as a prominent leader of the New Republic. Luke made an effort to distance himself from the politics of their new government, despite calls for a new Jedi order to protect the peace. But Luke felt he didn't know enough to create such an Order, even were he to desire it. It would simply lead to a powerful faction among many others. He wanted to be elevated over all of that, separated, left alone to develop a new relationship with the Force.

Of course, the old Jedi had strived for exactly the same goals. The contradiction did not escape him.

As far as Ben went, what a difference those two years had made. Not in temperament; Ben was as feckless as ever, a trait Luke prayed would eventually be remedied. Physically, though, he looked much more like an adult than the child Luke had left behind to build his isolated school. In those days Ben was fascinated with Luke's abilities and Jedi identity, and begged to be trained. Mindful of his promise to Leia he had demurred, and Ben's child hero-worship had soured into something glitteringly hard and brittle.

Luke had expected Ben to be at least eager to begin training, even if his relationship with his nephew was stilted. But now that the Jedi calling was a reality, some part of Ben didn't want it. Perhaps it was only a rebellion against his parents that had driven him towards the Force in the first place. Or perhaps he was simply put off by the amount of work, sacrifice and patience required to become a full Jedi. Patience was not Ben Solo's aptitude.

 _Maybe he's too old,_ Luke thought, the words of Yoda burning through his ears. _Maybe you need to treat him more as an adult, collaborating in this journey to recreate the Jedi, like you do with Jire and Lor. Or maybe you're just afraid you will fail – Ben and Leia and yourself._

It wouldn't be the end of the universe if Ben chose another path than the Jedi. His mother did. And Luke had learned that although the Force sensitivity was a rare gift, the galaxy was as vast and varied as the stars. He only needed to plant the seed with a few receptive students.

“I'm sorry to interrupt, Master Luke, but it is time for the young ones' lightsaber lessons.” Lor's shadow crossed over Luke's closed eyes, although the loremaster himself kept a respectful distance. Luke could sense his friend's gentle presence several seconds before he spoke.

“Of course,” Luke replied, and pushed himself up to his feet. A most dangerous class, dueling. Especially with Ben in it now.

Over in the open, covered arena, the trainees were all stripped down to the essentials for the class, and paired off to be roughly matched by physical strength and size. Naturally this meant Ben and Jire often fought each other. For most of the exercises Luke mixed up his students regardless of age, for he found that it gave a challenge to the younger ones and taught self-discipline to the older. But for actual fighting, Ben didn't yet have the discipline to hold back and prevent himself from harming those much smaller than him. Sometimes he seemed to relish the opportunity to beat them, even in an unfair fight.

“The key to lightsaber use,” he found himself repeating to them, “is to not overthink it. Simply reach out and let the flow of the Force direct your actions. In theory it should not matter whether you are taller or shorter, stronger or weaker. Skill and control win out over brute aggression.”

“Surely it doesn't hurt, though,” Ben shot back. “I mean, if everything else was equal.”

“Everything else is never equal,” Luke said evenly, ignoring his speaking out of turn. “In fact, you should assume that circumstances will be vastly unequal, and then not be surprised when reality fallows through.”

“But why would we ever be outmatched with a _lightsaber?_ Ben persisted. “We're the only Jedi left. We're the only ones who know how to wield this weapon. Won't we always have an advantage, just based on those facts?”

Luke suppressed the bubble of irritation growing within him, and calmed himself. “You don't know what you'll face. You don't know what your missions will be. Come see me after class, Trainee Solo, for more philosophic discussion. Now is not the time. Now, simply follow instructions and practice.”

Ben's bare chest heaved in anger at being cut off, but Luke was pleased when he was able to put that aside and switch quickly to the fight. Ben was swift and fierce, and made up for his lack of self-restraint in grace and strength. Then Luke pushed _that_ thought aside too. It was the same physical comparisons he'd just admonished his students about, and that Yoda had rebuked him for many times. That type of thinking – that it really didn't matter how big the rock was, that _physics_ made things impossible – was indeed very difficult to overcome. Youth made a difference on that point; Khasido was the most instinctual of the lot on the limitless, flowing strength of the Force. __

Luke dropped his robes, and took a stance at the head of his students for the routine introductory exercises. He made a point of participating in most activities while simultaneously monitoring their progress. The point was unconscious: he wasn't some master dictating on high, just slightly more skilled. They were all creating this new Order together.

After the initial meditations and forms, though, he did retire to one side. One on one combat required concentration, to make sure one student didn't slice another kid's head off. He motioned Jire and Ben forward, and the younger ones sat down in a circle surrounding them, to watch and critically evaluate.

“Aggressor is Jire,” Luke said simply. “Ben, defend the southwest corner. And yourself,” he added helpfully. And without allowing time for Ben to be annoyed or object, he signaled Jire to attack.

Jire lightsaber arched up and over from the right without hesitation. Just as Luke instructed, he didn't think hard about his objective, but trusted his will and the Force to guide him there. Ben's feet slid back into a defensive posture and while he simultaneously caught the attack, swinging in a low upward arch that barely avoided razing the floor, but also pitched Jire's balance backwards, off the attack. Ben too was in the moment, in the flow, his body swirling with the elegant motion of a dancer in routine, as if every move was planned and foresighted. But they weren't; both of their bodies were merely floating along a current in the Force, quickly chosen and then followed along.

Luke could close his eyes here, and monitor them solely through the eddies of the Force. In fact it would be easier to correct grievous errors that way, without the misleading input of eyesight. But part of him preferred to watch for a moment. They were both handsome young men, and he indulged himself in their grace, beauty and skill. For a moment.

Sometimes, in these extended fights, Ben would lose his concentration and flow, and let his emotions take over – anger or frustration or a mocking drive to win. Jire often passionlessly took advantage of these openings, leading to meltdowns and Ben's certain defeat. But either Ben had been working on it or Luke's lessons were beginning to take hold, for today Ben demonstrated none of that petulance or emotional fatigue. Today he managed to push all personal considerations aside, and keep pace with the attack without investment of his self. A marked improvement.

Eventually the younger apprentice's eyes drifted down, one by one, to observe the energy flow in its purest form. Luke followed, and marveled in it. Only when he sensed both students were reaching the point of exhaustion did he send out a signal to cease. Everyone opened their eyes and blinked at the abrupt change in charge in the room.

“Excellent,” Luke murmured. He let them all breathe a moment, appreciating the dissipating energy into the dry desert air. Then added, “Khasido and Sial, you're up next. Remember to let yourself go, just like that.”

After class, he was surprised when Ben took him at his word to pursue his questions. Luke figured the fight would have drained all of Ben's preoccupations for a time. But no, there he was: “May I speak with you, Master Luke?”

“Of course. Let's take a walk by the river, Trainee.”

The “river” was little more than a creek with a lush riparian zone running along its banks, but to Luke's Tatooine-sculpted mind it was a raging torrent. The corridor along the water formed a thin oasis of tall waving trees and scrub brush, and appeared to emerge from nowhere along a plateau within sight of the desert on the other side of the hill. Luke liked the contrast. The desert could clean the mind and leave it undistracted by externalities, or it could torture you with extremes of heat or cold. But they needed a reminder of life too, of potential, of wild abandon. Sometimes the mind needed an oasis too, and Luke found that the riverfront offered an excellent environment to calm anxious students down.

But Ben __seemed preoccupied despite the lovely view. In fact, he opened with, “Uncle, I am troubled.”

Surprisingly straightforward, without complaint. “You didn't seem troubled today, Ben. You were able to focus very well. What's bothering you now?”

“I know I can fight, but what about the larger picture? It seems our mission as Jedi is… not well defined. How can nine people go back defending the galaxy?”

“We can't,” Luke replied. “You are correct, our mission must be redefined. We are not a vast contingent that thousands of planets can call upon to resolve disputes. But there cannot be a mission at all unless there are people with the training and skills to carry it out, would you agree?”

“But, why are those skills worth preserving?” Ben blurted out. “Lor San Tekka constantly talks about balance to the Force, but doesn't that mean that evil is just as likely good? That if we are in the Light, someone out there must be of the Dark side?”

“The Dark side already has its adherents, whether they know it or not. Millions, billions of them. It not merely a matter of how Force sensitive beings act. Since the Force runs through everything, everyone's cumulative actions must ultimately be brought into balance. So, in an evil universe with so much suffering, it's doubly important that we maintain the Light.”

“It just seems so pointless, Uncle. We'll never regain the strength that the Jedi once possessed.”

Luke stopped pacing and glared at him sharply. Ben's expression was open and trusting, not at all as twisted up as his words might indicate. But that dark undershadow that Leia sensed was there too, lurking as a slithering flaw slowly breaking wide. Yet his face, like his taut body in battle, was beautiful to Luke in that moment. It was not a thought that ever would have occurred to him before. What was attractive, the innocence or shadow?

He gathered his thoughts to the boy in front of him, waiting for answers. “Even if we fail in the task of this generation, there will those that come after us. We’ll need to teach them, young one. Do you want to continue with your training, Ben? I know what your mother wants you to do, but I will not force you. You must agree to be here of your own will.”

Ben turned and stared out across the shimmering trees blowing in the wind. He suddenly seemed like a boy again. “I wish to stay,” he said.

 _What for, if reforming the Jedi is pointless?_ Luke thought. But he decided not to press his nephew on it. The boy would eventually absorb the philosophical lessons, even if he only stayed for lightsaber and hand-fighting lessons. And Luke needed to find a way into those dark crevices and root them out. How many years would it it take for Ben Solo to mature into a grown man?

Luke wasn't sure he was up to it, any more than Han, any more than Leia. Any more than Obi-Wan and Anakin.

  


_II. Jedi do not form romantic attachments_

 

“The old Jedi were monastic and ascetic. Are we expected to be the same, Uncle?”

Luke and Ben were having a quiet dinner, lit only by candles in his quarters. Every other night he took his meal privately with one of his students, rotating among them. The other nights, everyone ate together, and even Master Luke took his turn with cooking and cleaning duties. But the one-on-one meals served as an opportunity for discussion and debate, without judgment from the other students.

“I haven't thought hard about it,” Luke said, and nearly laughed at Ben's skeptical expression. “You have doubts about my honesty, Trainee?”

“You have had sixteen years to think about it, Uncle. And you've never married, even though bringing new Jedi into the world seems like an obvious goal.”

“My private life is not under discussion,” Luke said. “But to your question, the Jedi believed that romantic or deep emotional entanglements were a distraction from the pure study of the Force.”

“Maybe that was a mistake,” Ben declared. “If they had organized themselves to reproduce, they wouldn't have had to search the galaxy for more recruits, and their numbers would have been larger. Perhaps then they wouldn't have been so easy to destroy.”

“Their methods lasted thousands of years,” Luke countered. “One problem with your proposal is that there would have been great temptation to form familial dynasties. Power wants to hold onto power, after all. Perhaps it was a good thing that each generation of Jedi had to be located among the populace.”

“You offered to train my mother, even though she was married. You're training me. If you found the hidden children of other Jedi, you would train them. You've been searching for Ahsoka Tano for years. Are you worried about forming a dynasty of your own family?”

Luke suddenly remembered that Ben didn't know about Anakin, and certainly not about Vader. That he was the third Jedi generation, not the second, and that Obi-Wan hid Leia and himself for precisely the same reasons Jedi were forbidden from having children. In fact, Anakin's entire story – from what little Luke knew – could be a testament to the fallen power of hubris and poor commitments.

“It's a concern,” he simply said. “But right now, beggars can't be choosers. I'll take whichever students are willing and able to take up the cause.”

“Including me?”

“Including you.”

“Good.”

His voice was silky and low. It had slowly dropped recently, producing a baritone out of alignment with Ben's boyish face.

Luke lifted a spoon of stew to his mouth, and changed the subject.

 

* * * *  


Late one night, there was a scratch at the door to Luke's sleeping quarters. Barely a wisp. Luke could sense it was Ben on the other side. He couldn't tell what his nephew's state of mind was, or why he was prowling about at such odd hours. The colony was so small, they didn't bother with locks or security. Luke shifted the door in his mind, and it swung open.

“Uncle I am troubled,” Ben said softly.

“This is not an appropriate time,” Luke replied. But the boy's look was so distraught, he motioned for him to enter despite the late hour. “What is it, Ben?”

“Something presses on me,” Ben whispered. He wandered over and knelt next to Luke's sleeping mat on the floor. “Something pulls me away from the Light, Uncle.”

Luke sat up, and studied Ben's face. There was no sign of deception, as usual. The boy wore his emotions on his sleeve.

“Come here and sit,” he said, motioning to the mattress next to him.

He'd read of the technique he was about to try on Ben in Lor's dusty papers and smuggled databases, but he'd never done it, either as recipient or initiator. But something needed to be done. He half expected the spirit of Yoda or Obi-Wan to show up and tell him what a foolish idea this was. He should not being giving power and training to a person who was influenced by the Dark. He should not take the risk of creating another Anakin.

But this was Leia's child. Han's child. He couldn't write him off, and tell Ben to run off and become a talented pilot for the New Republic. Ben's fate was not set in stone, and Luke had to try.

“Hold out your hands,” he ordered, and placed Ben's palms on his own, palm to palm. “Do not resist. Let your mind flow to whatever is pleases, whatever it naturally inclines towards. Let it float. If you feel anything, simply examine it, passively, as an observer. Float, Ben, float...”

Ben eyelids drifted down, and so did Luke's. He reached out with the Force, to manipulate it as he did with the door, but more of a flow between the two of them. Ben's potential power was evident as he did this; it was like witnessing a roaring waterfall, off a cliff and sucked down into a churning whirlpool below. Luke, too, didn't resist, but allowed himself to flow on the maelstrom, to witness what was there. It would be an awesome task, to control this river.

There indeed was something malevolent lurking there, somewhere in Ben's mind. Rotten, very much like the feeling of the cave back on Dagobah so many years ago. But Luke could only sense the edges of it, and was buffered by more immediate feelings arising form Ben's adolescent mind. Lust. Loneliness. Desire.

The river rushed between them, and Luke realized some of it was coming from him, pouring into Ben.

He dropped the physical touch between their hands, but it was too late.

Luke sat there for a second, trying to catch his breath and hoping the boy was able to do so too. He was rock hard, and trembled with desire to reach out and touch him. He knew he had to resist, had to get the Ben out of his presence until both of them had their dreaded emotions under control again.

Ben sat there and stared at him with wide, cold eyes. Not afraid. Not alarmed. Merely aroused. He reached his now abandoned hand up and slid it down Luke's face, softly, down to the neck, which he clutched and kneaded.

If Luke had moved, if he'd had the strength to get up and run, he could have avoided this, But not with the touch. The river flowed once more between them, and Luke found himself leaning forward to crush Ben's face with a kiss. Suddenly he was swept away by the current between them, and only wanted more, _more._ It was as if all his training on self-control was suddenly reverse on itself, and began a force to push through instead. It wasn't even a matter of Light or Dark, there was no sense of evil or good, positive or negative, just balancing on the knife's edge with pure animal instinct to merge and mate, and have exactly the same instincts flowing back from the other side.

Luke pulled Ben's robes off his shoulders and pushed him backwards on the mattress. Ben was equally as eager to get Luke's robed off too. Ben wrapped his warm arms around Luke's back, urging him forward on top so they were chest to chest. The touch – physical touch in addition to the mind touch – flooded Luke's senses even more. It had been so long since he'd even _thought_ of touch like this, soft and delightful. He broke off the desperate, inexperienced kissing to move down, kiss that delicious skin. Ben was moaning and clutching Luke's hair, urging him on, When he reached a nipple and gave it a soft lick, that was all Ben's young body needed, and he came, shuddering, fluid wet in the slim loincloths between them.

The current between them changed again. Now it was depleted slightly on Ben's end, the reservoir lower but certainly not spent. It flowed more from Luke to Ben, as if Luke's lust alone was enough to provoke him again, prevent him from resting and enjoying his own release, and instead be stimulated by Luke's mind up again.

Luke roughly pulled both of their underwear down, to feel that final bit of skin between them. Ben's groin was wet, and Luke slid against him, grinding, enjoying the slight friction and ability to slide. And then Ben wriggled underneath him, kicking off his loincloth altogether and pulling Luke's down too.

“Finish with me, Uncle,” he whispered. “Finish, please, please..”

The current was overflowing on Ben's side. Luke let it flow. Neither one of them cared.

Luke moved back up to Ben's face, renewing his kissing. Slowly and deep, and Ben responded likewise, while digging his nails into Luke's back. He still pulled on him with the same rhythm: _please, please, please._ Please finish. Please release me, and release yourself from this bond. They wouldn't be able to break off until he finished.

Ben bent his knees and pushed them up, allowing Luke to settle and rock deeper into the boy's hips. Luke had never in his life wanted to fuck anyone or anything more. To make his body match his mind, and to make this young man come again entirely from Luke's will.

Luke reached one hand down and grasped under Ben's thigh on that side, and pulled it up. Then he shoved himself into Ben a fraction. They had hardly any lubricant besides sweat and cum, but it didn't seem to matter. Ben opened his legs wider and higher, rocking in time with Luke, and wrapped his ankles around Luke's back. _Please Please Please,_ he rocked. _Finish finish finish inside me…_

Luke rocked harder, moving in a little more with each push. Ben seemed open for him, let him in. Their bodies slid together and Ben's shuddered each time Luke pressed forward. They were both groaning now with each thrust, in time with each other. The Force too pulsed in time. Until he bottomed out.

Ben's mind seem to give at that exact moment, just as Luke finally came. He couldn't tell cause and effect, or mental from physical at that moment. He couldn't tell whether he had caused Ben pain, or broken his mind. All he could tell was that some kind of carefully constructed dam in his own mind had cracked and gushed through in a torrent of pleasure and animal lust.

Slowly the pleasure dissipated, and Luke was able to use his logical brain again. And now the guilt flowed over the pleasure like an aftershock. He slowly extricated himself and rolled off his nephew, mindful once again of possible physical discomfort.

“Ben...” he said softly. But the boy had now shot up in bed with wide eyes, grabbed his robe, and was gone.

  


_III. Anakin Skywalker was Darth Vader_  


Luke resisted the urge to run after Ben right then, but what little rationality was left to him urged to let his nephew be until the dawn hours. Both of them needed time to regain control, withdraw from the Force current that had linked them together, and physical distance would aid in that process.

That's what Luke told himself, at least. In truth the shame overwhelmed him almost immediately, as an unbearable yoke around his neck. He was supposed to be this boy's teacher, protector and father figure, and he had failed on every count.

The danger in this situation was extremely high, and Luke couldn't conceive what route he could take to heal what he had done. Were these the days of the Old Republic and Old Jedi, Ben could be sent away to be retrained by other masters, and Luke himself likely something similar, or be banished from the Jedi order altogether. But here he couldn't banish himself, and he couldn't send anyone away to be trained in more capable hands. He alone in the universe had the power to teach use of the Force, and he had utterly failed.

Luke knew he wasn't a Jedi Master. A few months formal training and reading the documents of the dead did not a Master make. Neither did fighting battles or engaging in war. Only long hard supervised discipline and the approval of other Masters would do. Luke thought he had enough of the former, but clearly he was mistaken.

In the morning he walked down to a small pavilion on the edge of an overlook in the desert. This landscape was nothing like Tatooine with its sand dunes and blistering heat. This particular part of this planet was a relatively cold desert, with brilliant colors of rock shale poking out of the little thin soil. During the wet season the area filled with grasses, but now, near the end of the dry, it was mostly dusty rock bare of visible life.

He asked R2 to fetch Trainee Solo from his room. Even now, hours later, the connection between them was unusually strong, and Luke could tell the boy was still in his room, angry, confused, and desperately wanting to come back for more.

In his heart, Luke wanted him to come back too. The danger was so acute, he resisted the urge to shout back at R2 to get the ship ready, shove Ben onto it and send him back to Leia without saying a word.

He closed his eyes and again concentrated on purging himself of all emotion and attachments. Control. Discipline. They were the only things to save him now.

Ben slowly approached, looking wildly disheveled and unkempt. The link intensified as he approached. Luke's meditation for an instant turned to a sort of beseeching prayer, although who and what he was addressing he couldn't say.

“Master Luke,” Ben said flatly, and Luke flinched. _Uncle_ would have been a hundred times better.

“Sit there, Ben,” Luke instructed, motioning to a spot a couple of paces away. “We must discuss what happened, and decide...”

“I don't want to talk,” Ben interrupted. “Can't I just be alone for awhile?”

Luke breathed out. “Maybe. I'll leave you to think the rest of the day, if that's what you want. But first I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I should not have tried a new technique on you without knowing its… side effects.”

He knew that was hardly an apology. He didn't know what he wanted to say here, what he _should_ say to heal this terrible wound he'd inflicted. Sorry for raping you? Sorry for losing control? Sorry for forcing you to lose control? Sorry, we can't ever do that again, no matter how pleasurable?

“That's not why you are sorry,” Ben said, confirming Luke's thoughts. “You're sorry you had to let go of your precious control, and did what you wanted to do for once, not what you thought you should do as a Jedi master.”

“You're right” Luke admitted. “But I'm sorry all the same. What I did to you was completely inappropriate. Wrong. We can't ever repeat this mistake, and need to take steps to distance ourselves from each other. I wish I could do better, but if you want to continue your training...” He cut himself off. “Do you wish to continue your training? I meant what I said before. I will not compel you.”

Ben laughed coldly. “Do you even know what compulsion is, Uncle?” He shook his head. “I do want to continue. And I don't see why anything has to change. I can still learn the Force from you, the same as before. I don't know what your afraid of.”

In that instant, Luke decided to tell him what he was indeed afraid of.

“Let me tell you a story,” he said. “It's about your grandfather. Anakin Skywalker.”

Ben's face blinked with surprise and interest. Leia didn't talk much about their family's past before the Rebellion, despite the fact that Ben wanted to know. All he'd been told was that Leia had grown up as a adopted daughter in the royal family on the destroyed planet of Alderaan – occasionally old-timers referred to her as a Princess even to this day – and that later she'd discovered Luke was her brother. Luke knew she occasionally talked about Bail and Breha Organa, her adopted parents and her childhood. But their true origins, she'd had kept to herself.

“Anakin had humble origins on a poor planet,” Luke began. “He was discovered by the Jedi at a young age, and was noted as especially strong in the Force. But he was also known as a loose cannon and the Jedi masters were divided over his training. Ben Kenobi took responsibility for him as an apprentice.”

Here again, Ben's eyes widened in surprise. He knew of Obi-Wan Kenobi of course, as Luke's first teacher and friend to the Rebellion, the Old Republic and Leia's parents. He knew he had been named after one of the last of the Old Jedi.

“What Obi-Wan didn't now was that Anakin had been corrupted by the Dark Side of the Force. He pursued his own love affair with a Senator from the Old Republic. He flirted with power and revenge and temptation. And when the Jedi rejected him, he chose to become a servant of evil, a Sith disciple of the would-be Emperor, Palpatine. He became Darth Vader.”

  


_IV. Anyone can be redeemed to the Light_

 

Ben sucked in a breath at the revelation. _“_ _Darth Vader?”_ he exclaimed. “But he tortured mother. He destroyed Alderaan, and murdered billions. He betrayed his master and killed the Emperor.”

“Yes, he was responsible for many horrors. But in the end, Vader was able to renounce the Sith, and return to being Anakin.”

“And what, that makes it all better?”

“No. But no matter what happens, anyone can change themselves. Anyone can start to make better choices. Just like we need to make better choices here. This is where you and I come from, Ben. Terrible power and terrible responsibility. We have to learn from Anakin's mistakes, and always strive to embrace the Light Side.”

“What if it can't be controlled?” Ben asked, his voice hushed and husky.

“What?”

“The Dark Side in us. That terrible power we inherited. If we can't suppress it, if it comes out despite out best efforts, maybe we should use it instead.”

“No!” shouted Luke, and jumped to his feet. “That's exactly what the Dark Side wants you to do, Ben. Haven't you listened to anything I've been saying?

“I've listened. I think you don't know exactly what you've been saying.”

“Ben...”

Luke moved to sit down next to him, cajole him to reason, but his nephew held up his hand. Luke forced himself to stop, to respect the same boundaries he had flagrantly ignored the previous night. Ben pulled himself to his feet. He was taller than Luke now, he suddenly noticed.

“It's fine, Master Luke. You are right. We should never speak of last night again. I just want to keep training as before.”

Luke hesitated. For the first time since Ben arrived, he suspected the boy was lying. But if they were to move forward, he needed to repair a level of trust between them.

Something in Ben's manner told him it wasn't going to work.

The cold seed had been planted, Luke realized. Anakin's seed. The notion of an evil origin, in contrast to the noble and defiantly brave heritage Ben had always been taught. Now he'd tasted the Dark through Luke's hand, and Luke could foresee it growing and growing, until it consumed them all.

“You all right, Uncle?” Ben asked softly. “Are you ready to begin again? If anyone can be redeemed, you need to remember to forgive yourself.”

“I know,” Luke said. And he clung to that ideal. But perhaps that too was nothing more than a prayer to an uncaring universe. Maybe some things become bruised, and once the rot sets in can never again be made whole and good.

The river of Force still trickled between them, slight filaments of desire. Luke could close his eyes right now and taste Ben's skin again, let it all take them both again.

He'd said no to the temptations of the Dark Side before. He could do it again, But right then, he didn't know if both of them could. Teaching was difficult, but Luke Skywalker was the last Master, and he alone would have to make the judgment true.

  


* * * * *

  


Luke sent Ben back to his quarters with instructions to meditate on several Jedi texts on the balance between Light and Dark, and then himself fled back to his desert perch. Jire and Lor could take care of the younglings for a day; he needed to sort his own tumultuous mind out, if he was to continue teaching at all.

For the first time, Luke carefully reviewed Ben's own statements on what was disturbing his mind.

_Something presses on me._

_Something troubles me._

_If we are in the Light, someone out there must be of the Dark._

_Do you even know what compulsion is, Uncle?_

From a safe physical distance on a rock, Luke reached out with his feelings, expanding beyond this thin line of an oasis and tiny school. He could sense all of his students, Ben burning bright and angry, Lor worried about the two of them, Jire confident at the chance to teach the younglings, Khasida the intuitive empath confused and distracted by the disruption in routine. Further out he could sense Leia, always a steady presence no matter where the two of them were in the galaxy. He could sense thousand of planets brimming with life, and hundreds of bright little sparks of the Force-sensitive, undiscovered out there in their precious rarity. Whether they were waiting for his sage tutelage, he doubted.

Then he turned back to Ben, watching him from a distance. He watched him for hours, until long after dark. Probing, floating above, to see if anything else was watching too.

Luke couldn't detect anything at all external to themselves. Nothing pressing on them. Only the dark seed that had always been inside Ben, restless. The same seed he'd always had to fight within himself, and let bloom into something dank last night through sheer weakness of will.

The Jedi often warned against seeking prophesy or future-telling, but now Luke needed to know. He needed to assess the possibility that Ben could not be retained in the Light. That the same weakness of spirit, of temptation, of submission to twisted evil that his father embodied and poured out onto the galaxy alongside his master would now be replicated two generations down.

And Luke saw that it was possible. Ben was a crucible on the balance, and could be pushed either way. The terrible future screamed at him. Luke's own actions had nudged the balance.

He opened his eyes, with the blackest heart he'd ever carried.

Luke needed to see Ben in person, and probe the awful possibilities with the boy right there. He stealthily trudged back to Ben's room, and watched over his sleeping form. This time Luke held back all personal feelings, all remnants of his own conflicted soul, which were only making Ben more conflicted himself. He didn't let anything intuitively flow. Instead, this time he used the Force to push.

Inside Ben's mind, he finally caught the worm. Slithering. Manipulative. Selfish. Power and its instruments, power and its delights. Cruelty and joy in its products. And everywhere laced with anger, so profound Luke couldn't imagine its genesis, for what in the universe could make a loved boy so filled with the capacity for hate? Something dark had dripped into Ben's mind, slowly poisoning him, like an irritated boil now bursting with infection.

In that instant, Luke lit his lightsaber to cut out the wound.

Ben woke up.

Their connection snapped back into place as their eyes met, but Luke knew it was too late. The Force had been trying to tell him something, but he hadn't heeded its lesson. And now his nephew had his own lightsaber lit, ready to sever that link. To burn through all the lessons and truths with fire and death. For Ben now knew what he stood in opposition to: Luke's Light, or perhaps Luke's anything. That if any person could be brought back to the Light, that choice can just as easily be made in the opposite direction. Nothing stood on the razor's edge for long, and everything in balance flowed to its rest.


End file.
